Salut d’Amour, by The World’s Worst Violinist

Quandary:
What do you do if there’s a piece of violin music you really want to record, but you can’t play the violin?

Answer:
Use The Jelly Roll Soundfont!

The Jelly Roll Soundfont is the latest innovation in the world of hi-tech musical instrument sampling, and today I’d like to provide a little demonstration of the ‘Gypsy Jazz Violin’ patch in particular. To give you a brief overview, here are the steps I went through to produce the astounding recording you can hear below:
 

  1. Bought a terrible violin for £30.
  2. Recorded myself playing every single note on that violin (very very badly) at 3 different volumes.
  3. Sent the recorded notes to my friend Dan, who through some technical wizardry combined them into a magical thing called a ‘soundfont’.
  4. By loading this soundfont into a computer and connecting a MIDI piano keyboard, it is now possible to play and record a virtual version of my £30 violin!

The first piece I’ve chosen to sacrifice in the name of science is Elgar’s beautiful ‘Salut d’Amour’, which he originally wrote as an engagement present for his wife. How sweet. I wonder if she’d still have said ‘yes’ if he’d played her this version…?
 

New Music Monday, #18: ‘But at what cost?’

Every Monday throughout 2023 I will be highlighting a different piece of music that I have either written or been closely involved with. And this week, prepare to contemplate the big questions in the surrealest of detail because it’s…


What’s it called?
But at what cost?

What’s it from?
This is the most recent – and actually the most listenable to date – single from the most absurd band you’ve never heard of, ‘The Atwood Project’. This ‘band’ is essentially an excuse for me and my regular collaborator Mister James Ure to let our hair down and be as relentlessly peculiar as we want, by taking a title suggestion from an innocent member of the public and using it as inspiration for a surreal comedic musical dreamscape.

What’s it all about?
Having written some REALLY WEIRD songs as ‘The Atwood Project’, Mr. Ure and I decided that for our fourth single we should write a thoroughly conventional, middle-of-the-road pop song. Needless to say, things didn’t quite turn out as we planned. The song is about a guy who’s walking along completely lost when his glass eye falls out. Around the same time he meets a woman who quickly becomes a stalker, ultimately pursuing him into a swimming pool and stealing his liver, which prompts him to posit the great eternal question: But at what cost?

Listen out for…
As ever with these songs, there are plenty of unique touches to enjoy – from my bass guitar playing (!) to the pitch-shifted vocals at 2:04 to the ‘FM Thrumpet’ and ‘Oioioioioioioioioioioi’ synths that you can hear at 0:18 and 2:32 respectively. But if I had to pick just one thing it would be the outstanding performance from our drummer ‘Erratic Phil’, who manages to keep a rock solid beat and somehow play more instruments than he has limbs, but who does tend to panic a bit when given an opportunity to improvise (e.g. at 0:16).

Find out more at…
Watch the music video! Unlike the rest of our songs, we actually put some effort into this one and made something that’s really quite good:
 

Video: Excerpts from ‘The Addams Family’

I’ve got to the point now where I’ve played in a fair few musicals, however one that’s doing the rounds at the moment but had eluded me until recently was ‘The Addams Family’. This all changed last month though, when I got the chance to play Reed 2 for the show and find out what all the fuss was about! Don’t believe me? Look, I’ll prove it to you:

Michael A. Grant playing bass clarinet for a production of 'The Addams Family'.
It was a really fun musical to play, and had me swapping between flute, clarinet, bass clarinet, soprano saxophone and tenor saxophone. Don’t believe me? Look, I’ll prove it to you:

Instruments and music stand for Reed 2, in a production of The Addams Family.
What I’d like to share in particular, however, are some clips I got of me honking away on the bass clari which I’ve added to my burgeoning collection of clarinet excerpts. So I hope you derive unfettered joy and satisfaction from this assortment of highlights:
 

New Music Monday, #17: ‘The Longest Night’

Every Monday throughout 2023 I will be highlighting a different piece of music that I have either written or been closely involved with. And this week, prepare to celebrate the winter solstice because it’s…


What’s it called?
The Longest Night.

What’s it from?
‘Miniatures’, my 2023 album of classical piano compositions.

What’s it all about?
As with all the music on this album, it’s intended to convey an abstract mood rather than being about anything specific. Having said that, I began writing this piece the day after the 2017 terrorist attack on London Bridge, and by the time I finished it the world had also borne witness to the horrors of the Grenfell Tower disaster. So I’d be lying if I said those events weren’t milling round my head while I conjured up this piece’s moods of melancholic despair.

Listen out for…
One of the moments I’m proudest of in this one is 3:14, where the melody’s Bb over a D minor chord really seems to ring with a sort of bitter poignancy. Shortly after, we reach the climactic moment at 3:44 where the right hand plays a thick and juicy 6-note chord (despite only having 5 fingers!). It consists of an F, G, A, Bb, C and D all sounding together, yet the clarity of the bassline allows it to still sound tonal rather than just being a mush.

Find out more at…
www.michaelgrantmusician.com/miniatures

Introducing My Film Composer Showreel…

One of the things I’ve been working on recently is my film-music-writing, and as part of this, over the past year or two I’ve assembled a really nice little portfolio of clips for which I’ve composed brand new soundtracks. You may have seen some already in fact, on this very website!

Having amassed this collection, it seemed the time was right to combine them into a showreel so people can get a tasty overview of my work. And guess what? Here it is!

If you like what you hear here, don’t forget you can watch the full clips on my dedicated YouTube playlist:
 

 
You can also listen to the music in isolation, minus the sound effects, on my dedicated Bandcamp album:
 

 
And I suppose all that’s left to say is, if you happen to be the next Steven Spielberg – or the original one for that matter – well, you know where to find me!
 

New Music Monday, #16: ‘Steakout’

Every Monday throughout 2023 I will be highlighting a different piece of music that I have either written or been closely involved with. And this week, prepare to go to great lengths to safeguard your personal supply of meat because it’s…


What’s it called?
Steakout.

What’s it from?
‘Mongolian Death Worm: A Puppet Show Musical’, the show what I wrote, starred in, directed, produced, edited etc. with my regular collaborator Mister James Ure during the first national lockdown in 2020. It’s a full 68 minutes of silliness, centring around the search for a mysterious creature that has been pilfering steaks from a village community somewhere near the Gobi Desert.

What’s it all about?
Professor-Roy-Chapman-Andrews-But-You-Can-Call-Me-Roy-Chapman-Andrews has arrived in Mongolia and teamed up with the local Sheriff, and together they are determined to bring the mysterious Worm to justice. But first they have to catch him, which necessitates a whole series of increasingly elaborate schemes, starting with a classic stakeout. This is Roy’s area of expertise, but as the song progresses we learn that Sheriff might not be so well-suited to such subtle espionage!

Listen out for…
A few things, actually:

  • Sheriff’s ringtone at 0:44 (which plays an excerpt from ‘Say Hello To Yellow’) actually provides a cameo for my old mobile phone – a 2006 Motorola W220 which has since been retired due to old age.
  • The reference to Brahms’ ‘Lullaby’ at 1:26 as Sheriff falls asleep.
  • The jaw harp that you can hear during Sheriff’s yodeling sections – a bit of instrumentation I’m particularly proud of!

Find out more at…
www.michaelgrantmusician.com/mdw

A Little Insight into the Life of a Metal Clarinettist

Everybody knows that there’s no clarinet like a nice shiny, freshly-polished metal clarinet. And I’ll be getting plenty of use out of mine this summer with all the wonderful outdoor gigs I’ll be playing with The Jelly Roll Jazz Band. So I’ve been taking advantage of the cold winter months (when outdoor gigs are mercifully scarce) to daringly dismantle and painstakingly polish every little bit of my trademark metal clari!

The dismantled metal clarinet of Michael A. Grant, strewn across a table with a tube of polish, a microfibre cloth, a bottle of methylated spirits and a teeny tiny screwdriver.

The less glamorous side of being in a band.

 
Incidentally, there’s a bit more to cleaning woodwind instruments than just whacking some Brasso on and hoping for the best. Most instrument keys are plated with either silver or nickel, and if you polish them too ferociously or with the wrong product it is possible to wear through the plate entirely, leaving you much worse off than when you started. Silver-plated keys, for instance, are best treated with a jeweller’s ‘silver polishing cloth’, which will gently remove tarnish, or with ‘Silvo’ (the silver equivalent of ‘Brasso’). Even then, if in doubt it’s maybe best to just leave the tarnish on and call it ‘patina’ if anyone asks.

My metal clarinet, however, is (as far as I can tell) made of an alloy called ‘nickel silver’, or ‘German silver’, which with 60% copper, 20% nickel and 20% zinc doesn’t actually contain any silver at all. This was a popular material for woodwind instruments back in the early 20th century when my clari was made, and because it’s unplated I can polish it as much as I want without fear of damage! The only thing is it won’t stay super shiny for very long, as it will soon dull again and eventually develop a brand new layer of yellowy-green tarnish. And thus the cycle begins again, but that doesn’t stop us enjoying the shininess while it lasts!

New Music Monday, #15: ‘It’s Harder Than It Looks’

Every Monday throughout 2023 I will be highlighting a different piece of music that I have either written or been closely involved with. And this week, prepare to get angry in four different ways because it’s…


What’s it called?
It’s Harder Than It Looks.

What’s it from?
My 2019 ragtime musical ‘It’s Not Really the Apocalypse’, which tells the story of four old friends who wake up one morning to discover they are the only people remaining on planet Earth.

What’s it all about?
Our protagonists have got themselves set up and settled down in their new farming lifestyle, but despite the idyllic surroundings all is not well! In this quartet we hear each character expound their frustrations in turn, as the tensions begin to rise and the cracks begin to show.

Listen out for…
The rather splendid finale at 3:03, where I show off my counterpoint-writing ability as all four vocalists sing together in a dazzling display of interlocking polyphony.

Find out more at…
www.michaelgrantmusician.com/inrta

New Music Monday, #14: ‘The National Anthem of Mongolia’

Every Monday throughout 2023 I will be highlighting a different piece of music that I have either written or been closely involved with. And this week, prepare to feel patriotic towards a country you probably didn’t come from because it’s…


What’s it called?
The National Anthem of Mongolia.

What’s it from?
‘Mongolian Death Worm: A Puppet Show Musical’, the show what I wrote, starred in, directed, produced, edited etc. with my regular collaborator Mister James Ure during the first national lockdown in 2020. It’s a full 68 minutes of silliness, centring around the search for a mysterious creature that has been pilfering steaks from a village community somewhere near the Gobi Desert.

What’s it all about?
O.K., so I certainly can’t pretend to have written this one – that would be an interesting claim to fame indeed – but the arrangement is all mine! This track underscores the scene in the film where a hand draws Roy’s convoluted route from America to Mongolia in felt pen on a map, in a parody of the famous scenes in Indiana Jones that represent the main character’s travels from continent to continent. My task here, then, was to come up with a version of the Mongolian national anthem in the style of the ‘Raiders March’ (Indiana Jones theme), but using only 5 instruments. An interesting challenge, and with all things considered I think it turned out alright!

Listen out for…
The counter-melody at 1:32, which reaches up into the uncharted upper ranges of the tuba. It offers a kind of lyricism you wouldn’t normally expect from such an instrument but which does sound rather lovely. Tubby would be proud.

Find out more at…
www.michaelgrantmusician.com/mdw

‘Miniatures’ – The Performer’s Perspective

A big thank you to Jack (whose piano-ing can be heard throughout my new album) for writing this informative blog post detailing his thoughts on each of the ‘Miniatures’! I always find it interesting to hear people’s different views on music I’ve written, and hopefully you too will enjoy these insights from the performer’s perspective: