Calling all pianists! The full score of my solo piano album ‘Miniatures’ is now available to order!
For those not already in-the-know, ‘Miniatures’ is a set of 12 solo piano pieces that I composed between 2017 and 2020, and released last year in album form. Until now this music has only been performed by one man, but all that is about to change as you too can now have a go at tinkling your own ivories in my specifically prescribed fashion.
“June is bustin’ out all over!
All over the meadow and the hill”
– quoth Oscar Hammerstein II, ‘June Is Bustin’ Out All Over’
This month’s Gig Review takes us all the way through to June – halfway through the year already, and I still haven’t finished my to-do list from January! : / It’s a month of sunglasses, outdoor cider, and trying to answer that perennial question, “Who even is June, and why does she not invest in some better-fitting clothing?”
I’ve remarked more than once in the past that the problem with this whole blogging lark is that the times when you have lots to write about are precisely those when you’re really busy, so have no free time to write! Now that it’s getting to the summer months this is becoming especially apparent – as I write this, it’s now actually the end of July, and I’m sitting in the back of my car in Shrewsbury manically typing before I have to go and play my clari again in 2 hours. To say more would be a spoiler for next month’s edition, but let’s just say I can promise you July’s will be a bumper issue indeed!
Before I get into the nitty and the gritty though, I have a story that should really have made it into last month’s Review but somehow didn’t make it. This event occurred when I was playing in Leeds for that 40th birthday party (after spending 3 hours trying to negotiate the road closures occasioned by the marathon). After we’d played a couple of sets, one of the guests came up to me and, holding out her phone, asked, “Excuse me – is this you?” I looked down and saw that the displayed picture did indeed show me posing at an 80th birthday party, which I had played at nearly 7 years ago in – of all places – Billericay! That’s 170 miles away from Leeds! I remember it well, not least because I had been required to play ‘60s and ‘70s soul music on solo clarinet (an unusual combination that I have not had cause to repeat since). As it turns out, the lady in question was (I think) the granddaughter of the man whose birthday it had been. What a coincidence to bump into her again!
This reminded me of another similar occasion from 2022, when I was up in Scotland with The Jelly Roll Jazz Band. Having completed our official gig, we went to a pub in the evening and ended up playing a few tunes to entertain the locals and attempt to get a free drink or two. Once we’d finished, someone approached and – just like that lady last month – showed us a photo accompanied by the phrase, “Excuse me – is this you?” I wish I could remember which gig it was they’d seen us at previously, but it was definitely us in the picture and we were more than a little taken aback to be recognised in – of all places – Ullapool! That’s 10,000,000,000,000 miles away from anywhere!
Things like that do give you a little glow of satisfaction as you feel like a minor celebrity. And they just go to show what a small world it must be that we live in!
O.K., that’s enough philosophisizationing for now. Let’s get to the reason we’re all here: the buffet! What, there’s no buffet…? Oh. If I’d known that I would have brought some sandwiches or something, but no, that’s fine. I’ll just eat later. In that case, in the absence of a buffet, we’ll just have to get to the secondary reason we’re all here: the gigs!
The Jelly Rolls of June
Feeding the Ducks at Duxford Air Show
If you’re a regular reader, you may recall that last month’s edition ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. I had just spent 2 days performing at the Royal Bath and West Show with my biggest slice of pie, The Jelly Roll Jazz Band, and we were about to head off to our next mystery engagement. But what could it be? Well I can now reveal that it was another 2-day-er, playing for the flying machines and the walking machines (i.e. people) of Duxford Air Show!
Things didn’t quite work out as conveniently as usual this year, with Bath and Duxford. The Bath Show is always Thursday to Saturday, over the first weekend of June (or the last of May). Duxford takes place over a Saturday and Sunday, usually on the last weekend of June. Which is great, because it means I get 5 days of work! Unfortunately for us though, this year marked the 80th anniversary of D-Day, and as part of the celebrations Duxford Air Show was brought forward to the same weekend as Bath. I still haven’t perfected a technique of being in 2 places at once, and therefore we were forced to abandon Bath after only 2 days and head all the way to Cambridgeshire. To be fair, 4 days of gigs is not to be sniffed at, but it’s not quite as good as 5!
One of the challenges of doing Duxford is working out accommodation. It’s possible to stay over at the airfield on a patch of grass earmarked as a suppliers’ campsite – and in fact that’s what I’ve done in previous years with our sousaphone player. But it’s a bit grim that, because we finish playing at 1 pm each day so there’s an awful lot of hanging around to be done, and the nearest village is a substantial walk away. Plus the camping facilities are hardly the most glamorous, consisting as they do of just a portaloo and… Actually no, that’s it. Just a portaloo.
This year I chose to try a different method. Our banjo player lives in London, which is easily commutable from Duxford, so I thought I’d try staying over with him and getting the train in each day. It had its upsides and its downsides I must admit, and I’m still not sure which tactic I prefer. It did mean getting up REALLY early on each day (as in, 5:30/6:00). It added a bit to the travel expenses too. But it did at least mean I had access to a kitchen, a sofa and a bathroom on the Saturday afternoon. At the end of the day I suppose it all comes down to preference. Would you rather have sleep, or a hot meal and a shower?
Hmm, I wonder how often people with ‘proper’ jobs are faced with these quandaries…?
The performing side of things went well that weekend, thank you very much. Our regular routine is to play from 10am to 1pm (with a couple of short breaks), which is kind of intense but at the very least is more fun than writing emails! It’s our usual brand of wandering around, adding a tuneful atmosphere to proceedings without getting too in-the-way. How enjoyable it is does vary though depending on the weather, I must admit. We were lucky this year to have 2 nice calm sunny mornings, but in previous years wind has been a bit of an issue. Try walking around the open expanse of an airfield in a howling gale whilst playing a sousaphone (which is basically a sail), and you’ll know the kind of challenges we face! But anyway, after our 3-hour shift is finished all the flying displays begin in earnest, so the three of us run away and hide to avoid being bonked on the head by falling aircraft.
I say it’s intense, but it’s not as bad as the first year we did it. Back in 2022 we somehow promised to do 3 hours of playing, starting at 10:00 and finishing at 12:45. Hmm, challenging! That reminds me as well of a recent client who proposed the following schedule: Start at 19:30. Play for an hour. Then have a half-hour break, play for another hour, and finish at 21:30.
As a great man once said, “I’ll see what I can do but I’m no time-traveller sir!”
It’s a Long Way to Tipperary… But Also to Thetford!
After a few days respite, it was time for my next Jelly Roll gig, which involved me making a day trip all the way to Thetford! That’s 135 miles away from Manchester!
In fairness, under other circumstances I would have arranged overnight accommodation rather than going all the way there and back in a day, but this gig was on 8th June and I wanted to be back home for 9th because that’s my birthday! : D I’m telling you this for a reason, by the way. If I’m not inundated with cards, gifts and warm wishes this time next year then I’ll have stern words for the lot of ya.
To make the most of the trip, in traditional fashion I travelled down a bit earlier than necessary and met our banjoist in Peterborough for a little busking in the afternoon. As there were only 2 of us it didn’t quite have the impact you get with a full trio, and there was a massive ‘Pride’ parade going on as well that rather stole our thunder, so consequently we didn’t play for long in the end. But it was a beautiful sunny day and a nice chance to see the city centre – which I had always erroneously assumed to be rather grotty, but is in fact distinctly pleasant!
The other highlight was a conversation we had with an eccentric old lady (who was quirkily dressed with a miniature Union Jack flag sticking out of the back of her baseball cap). She heard us playing ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ and stopped for a chat, telling us all about her musical tastes and how she enjoyed what we were playing. After a while she had a look at the front of our music stand and, seeing the band name pegged there on our laminated sign, turned to us in surprise and said, “Oh it’s jazz, is it?!” Good to know we’re giving the right impression! Then before she left we asked if she had any requests, to which she responded (after some thought), “Do you know ‘Bring Me Sunshine’?” Nothing like a bit of deja vu to brighten up the afternoon!
Having aborted our attempted busking, we headed off to Thetford for the gig itself. It was a bit of a mystery one, this, as we had been given no details as to what the occasion was – all we knew was the location and our playing times! Clients do vary a bit in terms of how much information they give you, but this was quite an extreme example. I think sometimes if people book musicians through an online platform or agency there’s a certain distance and anonymity which lends itself to being scant with the details. To be honest, I was quite happy about this – it’s kind of fun if you don’t know what the gig is until you arrive!
As it transpired, it wasn’t particularly weird – in fact, it was one of our staple ‘wedding reception background music’ bookings. Performing in the back garden of a beautiful cottage in a picturesque village, on a bright sunny summer’s day. What could be finer? I’ll tell you what: not having to do as much work as you expected! We soon discovered that the timings we’d been given were those for the entire ceremony and drinks reception, whereas in fact we were only required for a portion of that. What a fortuitous day indeed.
Following the gig, it was time for the looooooooooong drive back to Manchester, where I ushered out my 31st year to the depressing sounds of George Orwell’s ‘1984’ (as read by Tom Hollander), and ushered in my 32nd to the cheerier sounds of the Shipping Forecast and the 1am airing of the National Anthem that they do on Radio 4.
Honley Show? I Don’t Even Know Her!
As it turned out, June was a fairly quiet month for Jelly Roll – at least compared to how the rest of the summer is shaping up – and so I only have one more tale of intrigue to share with you from this particular band. You may have gathered by now that one of our main outlets for our honks and squeaks is the agricultural shows of Great Britain, and on 29th June we added a new one to our repertoire when we went to perform at Honley Show (near Huddersfield).
Unusually, we weren’t booked to do any walkaround sets at this one, instead doing a few static spots over the course of the day. This worked reasonably well, but I think if we get to do it again next year we’ll suggest some walking. It is of course nice being able to have a seat and not have to be up and about traversing the showground, but if the area we’re playing in is a bit quiet then we can feel like a bit of a spare part, which is a shame. If we’re mobile then not only can we cover a greater area but we can also move to where the crowds are, thus making the most of our day and giving better value to the clients.
The other nice thing about being mobile is we can hide under marquees and gazebos if it starts raining! We were a bit concerned on arriving at Honley to find that our sets were all due to be played in uncovered areas, which wasn’t ideal seeing as the weather that day was looking decidedly British (rainy). “I think it’s meant to stop raining this afternoon,” the organiser informed us with confidence when we first got there. “But our first set is at quarter past eleven!” responded our banjo player with a look of dismay.
Fortunately we were alright in the end, as some hasty gazebo-related arrangements were made to keep us (and the other musicians) dry. But it just goes to show, even in our unpredictable English climate it’s still possible for people to be a little over-confident about the weather!
Overall we had a lovely time at Honley Show. As well as getting to play some TRAD. JAZZ, I was given a lollipop by the Samaritans and enjoyed looking round the various craft tents and marquees. I had a go at guessing the weight of a cake but sadly didn’t win it : ( , and also saw a marvellous tombola stocked with beautiful handmade wooden things that I didn’t win (although in fairness I didn’t even enter that one). Here is a particular favourite creation I stumbled upon:
Furthermore, we came up with a new band slogan (“The Jelly Roll Jazz Band: You Can’t Un-Hear It”), and invented a new driving game on the way back home: If you see someone ahead of you wearing a hat, you have to guess what type of hat it is before you pass them. If you get it right you win 5 points, then when you get to 1000 points you win a free hat. A lot of effort to obtain a hat really, when you think about it…
The Dixie Beats Ride Again
It surely wouldn’t be a proper Gig Review without mention of Bolton’s leading (only) Dixieland jazz band, The Dixie Beats! And I’m glad to say I once again have a performance to report upon this month.
20th June saw us return once again to Didsbury Cricket Club – my most local gig venue, being but a short walk from my front door – for a night of raucousness and jollity. It was our second time there this year, and once again we delighted the crowd and left them with many springs in their steps. Also, now that summer is here we got to see the tail end of a cricket match through the club house window (although in these situations we’re always a bit nervous of a stray ball crashing through and embedding itself in a trombone or something).
By the way, if you fancy coming along to see us in Didsbury Cricket Club here’s a key date for your diary: Thursday 26th September, 8pm. See you then!
All of which brings me to the end of the June 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.
Gig of the Month
Even though it was a long way, I think the Thetford wedding has to get the award this time, for being a complete surprise and an overall jolly occasion.
What We’ve Learned
There is no right or wrong way to obtain accommodation for Duxford Air Show.
“May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.”
– quoth an unknown wellwisher from Ireland, ‘An Irish Blessing’
Well in case you hadn’t realised by all the references to May in the above quote, and the fact that there are calendars and things to tell you what month it is, it’s May! Wahey! Or at least it was, a little while ago. And I know you’ve all been sitting on the edges of your seats for a whole 25 days wondering how I kept myself busy over the year’s fifth month, so I’ll now put you out of your misery by clearing up this mystery.
Jelly Rolling Along
It is a truth universally acknowledged that gigs have a habit of coming along in pairs – especially where weekends and bank holidays are involved. This was yet again demonstrated over Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th May, when I had the pleasure of playing for a wedding near Stafford and then a birthday party near Leeds with everyone’s friendly local neighbourhood Dixieland trio, The Jelly Roll Jazz Band.
A Day At the Stafford
The wedding reception on 11th was quite a late one for us as we weren’t due to start until 5:45, and therefore in typical style we travelled early and popped into Stafford to do some preliminary busking and make the most of the day. It was beautifully sunny and the town centre was packed, which was in sharp contrast to our previous visit last February! It also became clear after a while precisely why it was so busy. Just along from where we’d set up was the town’s main square, and before long the crowds were gathering to watch what it turned out was the official induction ceremony of the new mayor. This point was further driven home to us a little later, when our thunder was somewhat stolen by a series of marching bands parading past and rather overwhelming the sound of our quiet little jazz band!
Once we’d finished earning our pennies in the town centre, it was time to head off to the nearby village of Ingestre to earn our pounds at the wedding. I always say one of the great things about playing weddings is that you get to enjoy some beautiful venues out in the middle of nowhere in the rolling British countryside. The flipside of that particular coin, though, is that you’ve got to find the venues in the first place! And while sat-navs have become thoroughly invaluable tools for us travelling minstrels, they are far from infallible. On this occasion, our bass player’s didn’t have a problem and took him straight to the location with no fuss. Mine, however, mis-cued a little and tried to take me through some back road through a load of fields and agricultural buildings. In theory I’m sure this would have worked fine, but what the sat-nav clearly wasn’t aware of was the locked farm gate blocking one of the paths! Cue a significant detour which eventually resulted in me finding the actual official route to our venue – where I found the bassist waiting for me, wondering what had taken so long!
Wedding clients, as with all people in general, do vary in terms of their organisational skills. Usually a certain degree of flexibility is required from us, as speeches overrun, people arrive late, photographers take longer than expected etc. But this one was an exception, being the single most organised and smoothly-executed wedding we have ever encountered! We knew in advance that it was thoroughly well-planned from the fact that, several weeks before the event, the bride sent us a comprehensive document containing every possible detail we could need. It even had a photo of the person we should talk to on the day, so we knew what to look for! And the rest of the occasion ran with a similar level of clockwork precision – everything timed to the exact second, with no margin of error whatsoever. All I can say is it made our lives very easy, and if anyone reading is thinking of booking us for a future event, if they can be even half as detailed and organised as that couple then we will be very satisfied musicians indeed.
All Roads Lead To Leeds (But None Lead Out Again)
The following day I had a reasonably early start, as I needed to make the journey from Manchester to the outskirts of Leeds to perform another Jelly Roll gig, this one for a 40th birthday party. It is always crucially important to leave extra contingency time when travelling to gigs, because unless there are some sort of exceptional circumstances there is absolutely no excuse for being late. In this case we were due to start playing at 12:15, so I departed just after 9 o’clock. My sat-nav’s ETA was 10:30, and I felt satisfied that even if I hit a bit of traffic I should still have a leisurely 90 minutes to set up and relax once I got to the venue.
Do you want to know my actual arrival time? 1:30. I’ll say that again: When I left, my ETA was 10:30. I actually arrived at 1:30. 3 hours later than planned.
And actually most of the journey went very smoothly – it was only when I tried to get through Leeds that things went pear-shaped. Because what nobody had considered (including those planning the party) was that it was the same day as Leeds Marathon, and therefore it was absolutely impossible to get through the city. There was no warning of this on the roads leading up to it, so it was only when it was too late that I realised the problem. And from that point on it felt like I was in some kind of horror film, where every single road I tried to take to get me out of the city led to a dead end. There were diversion signs everywhere but none of them seemed to make any sense or point anywhere useful. To give you an idea of the prevailing chaos, at 11:30 my sat-nav claimed I was 9 minutes from the venue, and tried to lead me down a country lane that would cut through away from the main roads. But I soon discovered this lane was completely blocked with cars, to the point where we each had to reverse back out again and seek yet another alternative route!
Much as I hate to be late for anything (especially a professional engagement), there really wasn’t anything to be done except keep going and hope to get there eventually. So it wasn’t as stressful a journey as you might think, however it wasn’t half tiring sitting in the car for 4 hours straight when you’d only planned for 1.5. I did eventually reach the golf club though, with a cry of ‘Hallelujah!’, and even though we had to start the gig late it still went well in the end. And actually, we weren’t the only ones to be caught in the traffic – many of the guests were running several hours late on account of the marathon, with people still rolling in as late as 4 o’clock and some even having to turn back and go home. All things considered, we were lucky to get there at all, and ultimately the client really appreciated our perseverance and the positive atmosphere we brought to a party that hadn’t quite gone according to plan!
As I said to our banjo player when I arrived, it’s a testament to how much we enjoy these gigs that we’re still happy to keep going even under such difficult circumstances. If it were any other job I would have handed in my notice the following day, but in this case the enjoyment of playing the gig still managed to outweigh the trauma of getting to it.
Wakey Wakey
Our next jazzy excursion saw us performing at a wake on 20th. Regular readers of this blog will recall that I’ve had a few funeral gigs in recent months and may expect this one to be in a similar vein, however there is a distinct difference between playing at the funeral ceremony and playing at the following wake. The atmosphere of the wake is of course usually less solemn and formal, and therefore feels less intimidating and awkward for a performer. In this case we were playing background music, so if anything we helped lighten the mood and bring an element of cheer to the family get-together.
There were a few interesting quirks to this particular occasion as well, which helped keep us entertained as we kept the guests entertained. For one thing, we were joined by a guest spoons player as one of the mourners came up to join us for an impromptu solo. There was also a disembodied pair of legs, fully clothed and sitting cross-legged on a chair in the corner throughout proceedings. It was only when we were about to leave that I noticed these out of the corner of my eye, and did one heck of a double take!
I’m relieved to say that travel was a lot easier than the previous gig as well. This performance was actually in Manchester, and therefore I didn’t even have to drive – I could just hop on the tram and let it do all the work! Ah, the joys of a local gig!
Bath Time
The Royal Bath & West Show is quite a thing. It’s one of the biggest agricultural shows in the country, spanning a whopping 3 days at the end of May, and featuring everything you could possibly imagine related to farming (plus quite a few things that aren’t). It’s got food stalls, it’s got a music tent, it’s got a craft marquee, an art gallery, a tractor shop, dancing sheep demonstrations, a petting zoo, a miniature railway, a bandstand, a poultry marquee, wood carving, wassailing, traction engines, classic cars, a carousel… Oh, and most importantly, it’s got The Jelly Roll Jazz Band!
We always feel like we’re coming home when we arrive at the showground for our annual stint at the Bath Show. We first played there back in 2018, and have been back every year since (except the aborted 2020 show). We’re usually there for 2 or 3 days depending on our other commitments, and bring tents so we can camp overnight between times. It’s always great fun, and we enjoy seeing the many exhibits and demonstrations as much as we enjoy the actual playing.
This year we were booked to play over 30th and 31st May, as we had to head off elsewhere once June came knocking (stay tuned for next month’s Gig Review for more on that). Our basic job is to do 3 hours of playing over the course of each day, but other than that it’s up to us how we arrange it. Usually we divide it between walkaround sets (where we wander all over the showground entertaining the general crowds and the stallholders) and cider tent sets (where we join our friends in the cider marquee and entertain them in return for a tipple or two). On a nice sunny day such as we were lucky to get this year, there’s really nothing finer.
I had a special little experiment up my sleeve this year as well – or should I say, it was ‘under my hat’! You see, I’ve long thought it would be fun and innovative to try recording a live walkaround album from one of our agricultural show weekends. It’d be great to capture the atmosphere of these events as well as giving a showcase for all the great playing we do which people only ever hear snapshots of at the time. But how to go about it? After all, we need to be completely mobile and can’t have a crew of sound engineers following us round with microphones on sticks.
My solution – which I experimented with at this year’s Bath Show – is to utilise the power of portable digital recorders such as those made by Zoom. These have the option of plugging in an external microphone, and therefore it occurred to me that each musician could have one of those in their pocket, with a microphone attached to their instrument. Then afterwards, I could edit together the three recordings to get the sound of the complete band. And as one more detail, I thought it would be nice to have a general microphone to pick up the overall ambience of the show, which could be concealed under a reasonably-sized hat.
It sounds absurd I know, but actually my initial investigations at the Bath Show proved very promising! I was especially pleased with the sound I got from the hat mic, which picked up a surprisingly clear overview of the music despite just being a microphone stuck on top of my head! If you don’t believe me, have a listen to this little clip, which I’d say sounds pretty darn good for what it is:
Stay tuned for more on this ridiculous project, as I’m hoping to bring it to completion in July by recording a full album at the Royal Lancashire Show!
One more thing I’d like to tell you about is my new sunglasses! This is another one of the perks you sometimes get from doing these shows, when stallholders offer you some free merchandise for playing a few songs outside their shop. In this case, we were walking past a stall selling some very nice sunglasses and one of the owners came out and asked, “How many pairs of ‘sunnies’ would we have to give you to play outside our stall?” Naturally we asked for a pair each, and that’s how I came to own these bad boys:
Not bad, wouldn’t you agree? I can also confirm from my own researches that they are polarising (in terms of their effect on light, not the opinions of onlookers). Of course, you may be wondering what tunes we played in order to earn these beauties? Well obviously, we did “Bring Me Sunglasses”, “You Are My Sunglasses” and “On the Sunglasses Side of the Street”!
The Beats of Dixie @ The Jazz Club of Leeds
What blog post would be complete without a mention of Bolton’s leading (and only) Dixieland jazz band, The Dixie Beats? Not this one, I tell you! (Incidentally, it’s one of my life’s ambitions to form a second Bolton-based band and refer to it as ‘Bolton’s following Dixieland jazz band’. I would then book it into all the same venues as The Dixie Beats, but in each case exactly one week after they’d played.)
This month’s outing for The Dixies took us to Leeds Jazz Club once again, on 14th. We played there a couple of times last year but this was our first appearance of 2024. In fact I remember sharing a video at the time from one of last year’s performances but it hasn’t had many views so I’ll post it here again. And I will keep posting it until you all take notice!!!
There are several things I like in particular about this jazz club. For a start, they have a proper stage so it feels like a real performance (and I can look down on the audience which gives me a feeling of superiority). They usually get a few swing dancers coming along, who delight us all with their Charlestons and their Black Bottoms (it’s a dance – look it up) all night long. There’s a McDonald’s just across the road, where I and some of the other band members habitually pick up a now-traditional post-performance snack. And best of all, there’s a superb selection of signs around the venue, of the type you only really find in northern working-men’s clubs:
Our performance was great, as always. That’s because we’re a really good band. I seem to recall the hall wasn’t quite as full as we would have liked, however the audience was appreciative and all present had a jolly old time of it. The only thing that marred the evening was my pre-show trip to Subway, where I tried out one of their Saver Subs and was disappointed to discover how little food it actually contains. :’ (
Saxomohpone in Northomowihc
Now, by this point you may have got the impression that I spent the entirety of May just playing jazz, Jazz and yet more JAZZ! And while you could be forgiven for such ponderings, you would be entirely wrong. For I did a wedding in Northwich on 27th where I played all sorts of cool trendy songs like:
Titanium (David Guetta)
A Thousand Years (Christina Perry)
Rule the World (Take That)
Viva La Vida (Coldplay)
This was a saxomophone job, and I was to be playing with my trusty (ish) backing tracks in a big marquee while people milled around before taking their seats for the meal. At least, that’s what I thought – there seemed to be some confusion when I arrived at the venue. I tried speaking to someone who looked like they knew what was going on (a catering manager or wedding planner or something) and he was convinced I should be playing from 7 till 8, whereas I’d been told 6 till 7. He consulted his sheet, which wasn’t much help as it told him I started at 6:30. So I went and chatted to the bride, who I thought was the person that had booked me but it turns out wasn’t (and I still don’t know who did). She at least confirmed the plan though – at 6 o’clock I was to play one song out on the terrace where people were enjoying the drinks reception, and as I was playing I should lead everyone through to the marquee. I then tried to explain this to the catering manager or wedding planner or something, which took an inordinately long time for such a simple concept, and he still seemed rather perplexed. In the end he just said, “Well if that’s what they’ve asked for, that’s what they’re getting,” and went off in a huff, leaving me to it! Which didn’t fill me with a huge amount of confidence. Then as I continued to set up, the evening’s DJ arrived and asked me what he was meant to be doing – dare I say that in this particular setup, the right hand perhaps wasn’t as aware as it should have been of what the left was doing!
All of this confusion did worry me a little, to the point where I double-checked my emails to make sure I hadn’t got the plan wrong. A small part of me even worried that I’d turned up to the wrong wedding – believe it or not, it wouldn’t have been the first time! I had that happen at a Jelly Roll gig a couple of years ago, on a large country estate that was holding two weddings simultaneously.
But no, all was in fact well. At 6 I went out on to the terrace and – admittedly feeling mildly self-conscious – broke into a belting rendition of The Scissor Sisters’ ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’’, which I used to process the wedding party into the marquee. From there it all ran perfectly smoothly, and I managed to play my set without incident. A kind gentleman even bought me a lemonade at one point to keep me fresh! Thanks kind gentleman!
All of which brings me to the end of the May 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.
Gig of the Month
The Royal Bath & West Show is always a highlight of my calendar, and this year was no exception. The free sunglasses were the cherry on top of an already well-iced cake!
What We’ve Learned
Never never NEVER go anywhere near Leeds when the marathon is on. In fact, while trying to get through it for that Jelly Roll gig I did find myself wondering, “Would it be possible for me never to come to Leeds ever again…?” That is, until I remembered I’d have to be there 2 days later with the Dixie Beats!
If you’re reading this, you probably have an interest in the noises I make through my various wooden, plastic and metal tubes! Yes? Well in that case you’ll also have an interest in a song called ‘A Lens To Find A Trace’.
This is the latest release from Dortmund-based musician David Kleinekottmann and is part of his ongoing project ‘Present Paradox’. Back in August 2023 I sat down to record some bluesy bass clarionet for this song, and it gives me a warm glow of satisfaction to inform you that it’s now finished and available to listen to. : D It’s all part of Kleinekottmann’s new album, ‘A Trace To Keep Control’, which you can learn more about here:
I’ve written some music for a film, and it’s going to be receiving its premiere very very soon! Are you excited? I sure am, and you should be too. Want to know why? I sure do, and you should too. So I’m going to tell you. Are you excited about that? I sure am, etc. etc. ad infinitum.
The film is a 9-minute masterpiece called ‘Bird of Paradise’, and is the latest creation from director extraordinaire Levi Felix Holton. It’s been an extremely fulfilling collaboration where I’ve been able to spread my wings* and enjoy a lot of artistic freedom to put my own stamp on the picture. Musically it is a lot more contemporary in style to my usual work, and it’s been a great opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone into the murky worlds of sound design and generally making weird noises.
That said, there is some more traditional tonal music as well. Towards the end of the picture it goes all bluesy, with a baritone saxophone providing a voice for the main bird character. Now would also be a good point to thank my fellow musicians Ben Sarney, Jack Mitchell Smith and Simon Whiting, who have kindly contributed double bass, piano and drum recordings to the soundtrack.
To entice you yet further, here’s a representative list of some of the noises you’ll get to hear in the finished film:
My broken fan oven.
Five of me slobbering right into your ears.
Many flapping tea towels.
A fork scraping over a radiator.
Intrigued? Want to see the film? Want to hear the crazy futuristic sounds I’ve managed to conjure up? Well here’s where you can…!
“Though April showers may come your way,
they bring the flowers that bloom in May;
so if it’s raining, have no regrets
because it isn’t raining rain you know, it’s raining violets.”
– quoth B. G. De Silva, ‘April Showers’
Good grief is it that month already! 2024 certainly is speeding past. But the good news is, April brings us to the cusp of prime gigging season and with the warmer weather comes opportunities for garden parties, country shows and outdoor wedding receptions. And let’s be honest, the whole ‘April showers’ thing is hardly a general truth. British weather will always be basically random, and I’m pleased to say I’ve enjoyed plenty of sunshine this past month alongside the occasional downpour.
Also, before I forget: HAPPY NEW TAX YEAR! Just in case you were under the illusion that a musician’s life is all fun and games, I’ll point out that I’ve been spending plenty of time lately with my big old accounting spreadsheet, punching in numbers, filing invoice after invoice, searching through old emails and racking my brains trying to remember why somebody sent me £60 back in October. You see, even the performing arts turn into an office job sooner or later!
Incidentally, I’ve been getting into the habit of doing a properly in-depth analysis of my accounts in recent years, and this has given me new opportunities to put my graph-making skills to use! In which respect, I thought you might be interested to see the following pie chart (mmm, pie chart…). Without giving too much away, this shows the proportion of my net income that was derived from various different sources over the 2023/24 tax year, and gives a glimpse into the ‘business’ side of ‘showbusiness’. Quite interesting, I think – but mainly it’s there to look pretty, let’s be honest!
Right, having successfully bored you to death with talk of invoices and statistics, I’ll now give you something much more fun as we get onto the meat of today’s post: THE GIGS!
Finally…
Oliver! (the Fourth)
Warning: This next section is liable to induce a sense of déjà vu. But if you think that’s bad, imagine how I felt when I turned up to play my fourth production of the musical ‘Oliver!’ with Urmston Musical Theatre, a mere five weeks after finishing the last one!
That’s right, after successfully completing a run of the show in Northwich back in February I found myself saying, “Please sir, I want some more!” Which brought me to the town of Urmston at the start of April, where I was to yet again ‘consider myself’ night after night for a whole week.
Technically this gig does encroach back into the end of the previous month, as our first rehearsal was on 31st March at 10 o’clock in the morning. Which was a bit rough considering that was also Easter Sunday, and the clocks had gone forward an hour the night before! So while everyone else was tucking into chocolate eggs – or even still tucked up in bed at what was basically 9 am – I was in a church hall in southwest Manchester making almighty high-pitched screeching noises on my flute and piccolo while still half asleep. Showbiz!
But I shouldn’t complain, because it was a good week really (even if I was more than a little tired of the music by the end). We had a few more in the orchestra than when I did it in Northwich, with the addition of violin, French horn and trombone really filling out the sound to make it quite epic at times. The venue, however, was a little unusual – a leisure centre, in which one of the gymnasiums had been converted to serve a dual purpose as a theatre. It worked great, but it’s the first time I’ve had to routinely walk past a swimming pool to get to a gig! It also made me laugh to look up at the ceiling, where the space’s dual nature was especially apparent in the combination of theatrical chandeliers nestled against folded-up basketball hoops:
The week’s principal highlight, however, came not from the show itself but from a certain celebrity guest who came to watch on the Friday night… Anyone who’s seen the classic series ‘Stars in Their Eyes’ (or the first episode of the new series of ‘Inside No. 9’ for that matter – which by some coincidence also incorporates a reference to ‘Oliver!’) will know the jovial visage of Matthew Kelly. But what you may not realise is that he is also a dedicated supporter of Urmston Musical Theatre, having been involved with the group since his childhood. And it was this association that inspired him to watch this very production, afterwards taking to the stage himself to present awards to various long-serving members of the group. What really tickled us musicians pink, though, were his comments about our contribution: He said that in 60 years of attending UMT’s shows, ours was the best orchestra he’d ever heard! So there you have it: The Best Orchestra, according to TV’s very own Matthew Kelly! We were so flattered we even allowed him to have a photo with us. See if you can spot him below (he’s the only one who didn’t get the dress code memo).
And that was my fourth production of ‘Oliver!’! Before I sign off on this chapter of my life, however, I’d like to share the following video which I took during the week, and which showcases some of the more impressive bits of playing I managed to squeeze out:
Further Escapades with The Dixie Beats
As a regular member of Bolton’s leading (only) Dixieland jazz band, The Dixie Beats, I get to hoot my clarinet round a varied selection of the North’s traditional jazz clubs. This month I got to add another to my list, when we performed for Rochdale Jazz Club in The Reform Club, Chadderton.
It was a quirky venue, I must say, and while the band had played there before without me, it was my first time and thus a fresh experience. There were so many little touches to enjoy… For a start, there’s the fact that Rochdale Jazz Club meet in a bar in Oldham that is themed around neither place but rather Manhattan (as demonstrated by the partially-lit New York skyline adorning the wall above the bar). There were many many pictures of Marilyn Monroe decorating the walls to further enhance the impression, and there was rather more glitter around the place than I am usually accustomed to. Plus the following sign attached to the TV amused me somewhat:
The gig itself was yet another roaring success, and we were once again doing our A-list ‘greatest hits’ programme which meant everything felt secure and we could relax into just having fun performing. The only real mishap was that I completely forgot to set up my flute (which I use in our rendition of ‘Wonderful World’), so I had to dash off and fetch it in the middle of the second half! But otherwise I think I came off as approximately professional.
The other Dixie Beats performance for this month took us back to our home turf of Eagley Jazz Club, who meet in the Bromley Cross area of Bolton. This is a favourite venue of ours which is always very well-supported, and I think I’m right in saying they were instrumental in helping get the band up and running in its early days (before I joined). Dixie Beats gigs are always enjoyable, but for me at least, there was something special about this one. I think it was the combination of doing our A-list set again, in a familiar venue with a regular crowd, which made us feel especially comfortable. There were jokes and ad libs flying around left, right and centre, and overall we had a really fun night of it.
Most importantly, though, we got our pasties! That’s the thing that always makes me smile about Eagley – part of the deal is that, as well as the fee, every band member gets a free hot pasty to munch on during the break. Which feels to me like a touch of a very specific brand of eccentricity that you only really find in the North of England.
Actually there’s one more thing I almost forgot to mention, which was an unfortunate (if well-intentioned) remark I received from an audience member during the interval. On the way past to fetch her own pasty, she paused and said to me:
“Many years ago, you could have played with Chris Barber. You know, back when we had proper bands.”
Which, as back-handed compliments go, has to be up there with the best of them!
The Jelly Roll Jazz Band – Adventures in Time and Space
The weekend of 19th/20th April saw me take to the road yet again and head down south, for our latest batch of fun and silliness with The Jelly Roll Jazz Band. Over two days we were to play for the grand opening of a new hearing clinic in Sevenoaks and the grand opening of someone’s marriage near Oxford, and even squeeze in a bit of busking in Henley-on-Thames in the meantime.
Regain Hearing
The Sevenoaks gig was for our old friends at Regain Hearing, who have had us play for all four of their new branch openings since we first joined them in Broadstairs back in 2018. The staff are all a lovely bunch, and they have a good sense of humour which really shines through at these events. For instance, have a look at the cake they produced for the latest one, covered with fondant ears and hearing aids:
One of our most popular songs with them is ‘On the Sunny Side of the Street’, which I repurposed with some hastily rewritten lyrics into ‘On the Regain Hearing Side of the Street’ back in 2018. We sang it again at this new branch opening but I don’t have a recording, so here’s the video of us giving it its premiere performance all those years ago:
We always have a great laugh at Regain Hearing openings, and this was no exception. There’s something inherently hilarious, too, about being the resident band for a hearing clinic. Naturally, jokes abound – we often tell people we have a symbiotic relationship where we give people tinnitus so the clinic can cure them! We’ve also come up with a great publicity idea, where we stand outside the shop silently miming on our instruments next to a sign that says, “If you can’t hear this jazz band, you need to book an appointment!”
Oh, the fun we have.
Busking and Wedding
The following day’s wedding reception gig didn’t start until 4:30, and therefore – ever proactive – we decided to make the most of the day by doing a little busking in Henley-on-Thames. It was the first time we’d been there as a band, but on the basis of what a great time we had it certainly won’t be the last! The sunny weather helped of course, but more importantly the passers-by were extremely appreciative, many of them stopping for a chat as well. In fact people were already requesting songs before we’d finished setting up, and we set a new record for the most money we’ve made over the course of an opening song (£13). There was also a hilarious toddler in a pram who, despite his father’s best efforts to enthuse him, spent his entire time giving us a look of the most extreme confusion and befuddlement you can possibly imagine. As I said to the others, I think his outward expression was the perfect summary of what most of our audiences are inwardly thinking!
Once we’d rinsed the people of Henley of all of their cash (or at least, a minute portion of it) we gathered our belongings and pootled our way to the village of Brightwell Baldwin for our second and final gig of the weekend. This very much represented our comfort zone, as we were playing background music for a wedding reception, with the first set out on the lawn of the country house venue and the second under a large marquee while the guests took their seats for a hearty ‘wedding breakfast’. There’s not a lot to report from this occasion really, except to say that it all went smoothly and all present were entirely satisfied. Including me, not least because this is the first time in 2024 where we’ve played in that setting as a band – out in the fresh air in the countryside in the sunshine, with wedding guests milling around drinking champagne and generally having a lovely time. It very much got me looking forward to the upcoming summer of similar situations and circumstances.
All of which brings me to the end of the April 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.
Gig of the Month
Meeting Matthew Kelly at ‘Oliver!’ was pretty special, however I think I really have to give the award to the opening of the Sevenoaks branch of Regain Hearing with Jelly Roll. Such a fun and peculiar occasion to play at!
What We’ve Learned
It’s not been a very educational month to be honest, but I did learn that Henley-on-Thames makes for an excellent busking spot with Jelly Roll.
O.K., maybe I should be more specific. Here’s a video of a piece of music I helped record a few months ago. It’s written by a fellow called Jan Maria C. Deckers and is entitled ‘Paradise’ – deservedly so, in my opinion!
This is a really beautiful bit of music and I very much enjoyed bringing out the classical side of my alto saxomophone for the occasion. So give it a listen, tell all your friends, and then go off and have a nice day.
Well, we were dragged kicking and screaming into January, we staggered blindly into February, but then the time came to hold our heads high and boldly march right into March! I always find myself getting overly optimistic at this time of year. Something in me believes that as soon as spring arrives I can pack away the thermal undergarments and the fingerless gloves, and enjoy a full six months of outdoor gigs in the glorious sunshine. Which is silly really, because I know full well that last March saw me perform at an outdoor wedding reception in the snow (although in fairness that was a surprisingly warm day). But no, as you’ll find out later, just because the nights are getting shorter it doesn’t mean we musicians can completely abandon our Big Coats.
March is also a funny month for us wandering minstrels (and for the self-employed in general), because it feels like something of a home stretch as the end of the tax year approaches. It’s the final sprint to the finish, one last chance to boost the year’s earnings with last-minute bookings, or conversely to buy some expensive instruments in an effort to reduce your taxable income!
So many challenges to overcome, I’m sure you’ll agree. From being a bit cold to maybe earning slightly too much money, it’s clear I actually have a really hard life don’t you know. Nevertheless it’s now time to gather round and look a little deeper, as we delve into this month’s catalogue of adventures DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT…
At the Races
You know I was saying how March can be quite cold? Yeah well I learnt this the hard way on the 2nd of the month when I travelled up to Kelso to play TRAD. JAZZ CLARIONET at the horse races with The Jelly Roll Jazz Band. It didn’t look like too bad a day at first – a bit overcast maybe, but reasonable – and we even had time to do the local charity shops and grab a bit to eat in a nice café before heading to the gig. Indeed our first set was pleasant enough, as we performed at the racecourse entrance in the open air to welcome the punters to a day of exquisite equestrian excitement.
I’ll tell you what though, that weather didn’t half take a turn for the worse. What would have been a fairly easy gig soon turned into one of the most challenging I’ve ever done as all of a sudden the temperature plummeted and the heavens opened, pelting us periodically with precipitation for the remainder of our performances. Usually when it rains at gigs it’s natural for us to find shelter to play under, because that’s where all the audience members have gone to hide anyway. But these horse-racing types must be made of sterner stuff because they appeared quite impervious to the onslaught of horizontal ice-cold water, and so we weedy musicians just had to brave it as well and do the best we could.
One of our selling points as a band is that we are pretty waterproof (within reason). I, for example, have my trademark metal clarinet, which I’m fairly sure will be the last thing remaining even when the rest of the world has succumbed to its eventual apocalypse. But even with a robust instrument, there comes a point when the feeble flesh of the musician himself begins to reach its limit and merely getting a note out of the thing can become a challenge. The problem of stiff fingers is significant, however with jazz you can at least mitigate it by adapting your playing style accordingly (i.e. don’t play as many notes)! But the more substantial problem which can ruin your performance entirely is seizing up of the lip muscles. On the clarinet, the bottom lip doesn’t tend to suffer too badly as it is shielded by the mouthpiece and is constantly having warm air blown over it. But the top lip just rests on the mouthpiece, completely exposed to the elements. On a cold, wet, windy day, those muscles can begin to lose flexibility, making it impossible to even get a sound out of the instrument, let alone a tune! And it’d take a moustache considerably grander than mine to be in with a chance of alleviating the problem. So to anyone listening at Kelso Races who wondered why I kept stopping for breaks towards the end of our set, I apologise but hopefully you now understand why.
Overall, then, it was a challenging day, but we made it work and were glad to add yet another type of gig to the band’s portfolio (this being the first horse race we’ve been involved with). Plus, we got on national TV! A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance, but the good news is that if you did blink, then I have the clip here to give you another chance. And keep your eyes open this time, you cheeky little so-and-so!
Oh by the way, when I got home I looked up the temperature at Kelso that day. 5 °C apparently (although I’m telling you it felt significantly colder)!
Busking All Over
Our next official gig wasn’t until 7th, but to capitalise on the three of us all being together we opted to do a bit of busking in the meantime. This practice is rooted deep in the band’s DNA, as busking in our home town of Scarborough was what kept us all occupied during our long holidays from VI Form College and later university, and helped us get our feet in the door of professional gigging back in those early days.
It’s a funny old ball game, busking, and it comes with its own unique set of highs and lows. The lows tend to come when you play your hearts out and get little to no interest (or money) in return. Heck, we’ve even had people try to take money from us in the past! Or worse, when you keep being asked to move by moody shopkeepers who don’t appreciate good music. But the highs can range from the financial (either collecting a lot of cash on the day or handing out business cards that later lead to bookings) to the social (having people tell you how much you’ve brightened their day, or seeing a toddler who has never heard live jazz before and who can’t stop themselves dancing) to the comical (you meet some VERY odd people sometimes when you’re busking). And at the end of the day, it’s often just a nice way to have fun with your mates without the usual gig-related pressures of having to be in a certain place at a certain time and perform to a certain standard! Quite often, if nobody’s listening too closely, we end up just messing about for a bit and reducing each other to uncontrollable fits of giggles.
We decided to stay close to home for our March busking, and made excursions into Scarborough and the nearby market town of Beverley, both of which had been good to us in the past. And what a nice time we had. The weather was a significant improvement on Kelso, and really made us appreciate how much easier it is to play when you’re not wet and frozen to the core. We managed to give out some business cards, sell some CDs, have some laughs and even say hello to some old acquaintances who stopped in passing to have a chat. But what I’m sure you’re wondering is how we did in terms of takings. Well we played for a couple of hours or so in both locations, and (after expenses) came away with approximately £31 each from Beverley and £29 from Scarborough. Not the best we’ve ever done, but respectable figures nonetheless for that sort of performance.
Singing Sappy Songs in Carlisle
Not long after taking the streets of Yorkshire by storm, we were back on the road again and heading to a rather different performance in a rather different location. This was Thursday 7th March, which was to see us make our debut at Carlisle Jazz Club.
It’s a bit of a trek from Scarborough to Carlisle – about 3 hours drive each way – but we’re kind of used to these epic long journeys as a band and at any rate it gave us a good opportunity for a deep dive into the back catalogue of The Jeremy Vine Show. Incidentally, people sometimes ask us how it works economically when we have to travel to these far-flung locations. Doesn’t it eat into the profits? Do you add expenses onto the fee? Does the driver lose out by having to fund the petrol?
To take each question in turn, yes of course it diminishes the profits a little (what expense doesn’t?) but not as much as you may think. We’ve become very efficient as a band when it comes to car sharing and the like, and we know all the tricks of the trade for those occasions when we need to take trains or buses. Usually when these costs are spread between the three of us there is still ample money left over for us to all take a reasonable fee.
Adding expenses onto the fee when booking a gig is a perfectly valid and common approach, however it’s not one that would really work for us. The problem is estimating expenses in the first place. We don’t usually all travel from the same location, so it’s often not until a few weeks before the gig that we settle on the optimal combination of car sharing, public transport and (occasionally) overnight accommodation. Add to that the inherent variability of train ticket prices etc., and it quickly becomes more faff than it’s worth. Easier by far to just have a standard fee and accept that some gigs will cost us a bit more in travel than others.
As for the question of which band member funds the travel, this is another thing that varies from group to group but in Jelly Roll I’m proud to say we’ve developed an incredibly fair system that in general is virtually bomb-proof. Essentially, we take the total fee from the gig and each take out our own travel costs before dividing the remainder equally. Not only does this mean everybody makes exactly the same profit from each gig (rather than the driver losing out despite having done the most work), but it also encourages us all to be as efficient as possible. After all, if one person is able to save money, that increases the take-home pay for all three of us!
The travel arrangements to Carlisle were pretty simple, as we were all together in Scarborough at the time so could just take one car. What’s more challenging in these situations is spending over three hours travelling, then doing a performance without looking like you’ve just spent over three hours travelling! The remedy on this occasion was to fortify ourselves with a hearty meal (courtesy of one of Carlisle’s Wetherspoonses) and look forward to the promise of a homemade slice of cake afterwards (courtesy of my mum – thanks Mum)! Even then though, it was a very late gig by our usual mid-afternoon-wedding-reception standards – our second set didn’t begin until 10 pm, and therefore it took some solid self-motivation to keep the energy levels going that late into the evening.
On the whole I think the performance went well, and the audience seemed both supportive and appreciative. It was quite disorientating, however, for a band that usually performs in the background with nobody listening too closely, to be back in the spotlight. We got a round of applause after every song, which felt weird – it’s a rare occasion indeed that you get that kind of reception while busking, for instance!
As we were playing for a jazz audience this time, we selected our repertoire carefully to suit. Someone attending a TRAD. JAZZ club will typically be more than happy to hear perennial favourites such as ‘Margie’, ‘All Of Me’ (NOT BY JOHN LEGEND!!!) and ‘Five Foot Two’, so we were sure to include plenty of those classics. But it would be a sad world in which every TRAD. JAZZ band sounded the same, and consequently during our second set we introduced the audience to some less conventional gems that they’re unlikely to hear elsewhere. These included an original song entitled ‘Castle Cannonball Nose Ring’, ‘Size Ten Shuffle’ (which was used as the theme for the original Paddington TV series) and Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21 as the great man would have originally intended. And luckily for you, I was able to capture a video of this latter piece through the miracle of modern technology, and it is available for you to watch right here, right now:
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the month’s Jelly Rolling! But there was plenty of other music to be enjoyed before the month was out…
If you’ve just read that sub-heading and are expecting an account of some crazy road trip across America, then ha! Gotcha! In the words of Nick Nack from ‘The Man With the Golden Gun’, “I fooled you!” You have just been taken in by another of Michael A. Grant’s patent word traps! For I’m not referring here specifically to the place of New Orleans, but to the music, as played by Bolton’s leading (only) Dixieland jazz band, The Dixie Beats. And I’m not referring to Boston Massachusetts, but to the Yorkshire village of Boston Spa. So maybe a more appropriate title for this segment would have been ‘Bolton to Leeds’. But where’s the fun in that, eh?
This was our first visit to Boston Spa Jazz Club as a band and therefore we made sure to programme all our favourite big-hitters. This made for quite a relaxing gig I thought, playing all the tunes we already know back-to-front and can launch into full throttle without having to worry. It was a great night, very well-attended, and we received a fantastic welcome both from the audience and the organisers. And what’s more, I got some new drinks mats out of it:
Sadly, though, they were given to me so I wasn’t able to steal them after all.
Drawing Another Big Triangle With My Saxomophone
I mentioned earlier in this post that March can be a bit of a scramble to squeeze in extra earnings before the end of the tax year. Well this was especially apparent over 22nd and 23rd March, when I found myself committing to two gigs which were maybe not the most practical geographically. Remember in January when my car and I drew a massive triangle connecting Manchester, Great Yarmouth and Exeter? Well this one wasn’t quite as extreme, but not far off.
The first gig, at which I played my saxomophone for a wedding reception on 22nd, was down near Bury St. Edmunds. Quite a way, but I must admit that it didn’t feel that far compared to the Gt. Yarmouth trip! The event itself was a delight, where I was required to play out on the terrace of a big old mansion in the sunshine while the guests enjoyed the music and the associated drinks reception. That’s the great thing about wedding gigs, I find – the whole point is that it’s a celebration, and as a result you get to perform in some gorgeous locations for people who are generally in high spirits, often getting some superb food thrown in to boot. Sadly I wasn’t included in the wedding breakfast on this occasion, but that was probably for the best because I needed to head off to my next gig in…
Maesteg! Near Port Talbot! In South Wales!
See what I mean about impractical geography?
It was an interesting gig, Maesteg. I travelled there on the afternoon of 23rd, having stayed overnight with a friend in Bristol on the way. For some reason I had it in my head that it was another wedding, but I realised my error when I pulled up to the venue and saw it was a house with number-shaped helium balloons clearly displayed in the window. Any doubts I had as to the nature of the event were dispelled when I rang the doorbell, and was promptly ushered into the back kitchen to set up before being asked if I’d be able to march into the living room at six o’clock playing ‘Happy Birthday’. “Hmm…” thinks I, “If this is a wedding it’s a bit of an odd one…”
Sure enough, it wasn’t a wedding but a joint 60th/70th birthday party, celebrated by a group of ten or so ladies who had hired out the house via Airbnb for the weekend. My job was to provide an hour of pre-dinner entertainment as the surprise saxophonist, serenading them with a selection of jazz and pop tunes in the living room. Which I did, once the impromptu ‘Happy Birthday’ had been dispensed with, and we all had a lovely time. The guests were all highly appreciative and friendly (some overly so, if I’m completely honest!!!) and afterwards they sent me away with a hearty thank-you, a lovingly prepared packed dinner, and a promise that they would spread my name through South Wales! I felt like suggesting it might be more useful if they could spread it around the Manchester area, but I didn’t want to be rude.
It was a good laugh that Maesteg gig. But I must confess that it’s at times like those, when you find yourself in the living room of a random Airbnb in a town in South Wales you’ve never even heard of, blasting out ‘Dance Monkey’ on the saxophone while a group of women twice your age boogie on the rug in front of you, that you do begin to wonder: “How the heck did I end up here?”
Oh also, you may be interested to hear that I’m reasonably sure Satan himself was stalking me that weekend. I know this because when I got back to Manchester that night I checked the weekend’s mileage to note down for my expenses calculations, and what did it total? 666 miles! But that’s not all. When I got in the house I had a quick check of my business bank account and how much was in it? That’s right: £666!
Oooooooooooooh…
Spooky.
Solemn Vespers in Solemn Macclesfield
As the end of March drew near, there was just time to fit in one more gig. And so in a final push to cram as many contrasting styles as possible into the year’s third month, I made my merry way to Macclesfield on 29th to play in a Good Friday performance of Mozart’s Solemn Vespers.
This was an annual charity fundraiser with one of the local choirs, combined with a short church service to mark this significant point on the liturgical journey towards Easter Sunday. It was my second time playing clarinet in the accompanying orchestra, having joined for a performance of Mozart’s Requiem last year. I have to say the choir did a superb job, punching far above their weight for an amateur ensemble, and the professional soloists were outstanding. For my part, I think I did a decent job, except for one moment when I opted to insert a jazzy ‘flattened 7th’ without Wolfgang’s express permission. Bum note or creative improvisation? You decide!
Having said that, if you look further back in this post you’ll find that that note was hardly the greatest crime I committed against W.A.M. this past month!
All of which brings me to the end of the March 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.
Gig of the Month
For sheer fun and memorability, it has to be that joint 60th/70th birthday party in Maesteg. Thanks ladies for a surreal evening I’m sure I’ll never forget!
What We’ve Learned
March can be REALLY REALLY REALLY cold!
Well, February has been and gone so you may think me the fool for carrying on, however that’s a chance I’m willing to take if it means I can tell you about all the hooting and honking I indulged in over the year’s second month.
And what a busy month is was overall, not so much professionally but certainly personally. I expended a considerable amount of energy moving house, for one thing – only half a mile down the road, but still hard work! And of course my sizeable instrument collection came with me, which was no small task to shift: 8 clarinets, 4 saxomophones, 2 ukuleles, 2 flutes, 1 piccolo, 1 bassoon, 1 oboe, 1 electric piano, 1 recorder and 1 otamatone. Oh, and 1 pair of spoons. Thankfully though all that shifting, organising and sorting is now largely complete. The instrument family is now nestled cosily at the end of my bed:
And I’ve even found a space to display my favourite CD:
But much as I’d love to wax lyrical about The Best of Graham Broughton, I would guess that’s not what you’re here for. So let’s move on, shall we, and talk about GIGS!
Saxomophuneral
I started off the month in sombre fashion, performing at my 3rd funeral in the space of 6 weeks. For this I took my saxomophone and virtual backing band (i.e. laptop + speaker) all the way down to Lambeth, in the process reuniting myself with my favourite haunt of the National Express coach fleet. Ah, National Express, we’ve shared so many memories over the years… Remember all those times we travelled up from London to Scarborough together, and I’d while away the 7 hours writing lyrics for ‘It’s Not Really the Apocalypse‘? Or the time you drove me overnight from London to Dublin via Holyhead, and the ferry was delayed by 5 hours so we sat at the terminal together while I watched a documentary about Artie Shaw at 2 o’clock in the morning? Good times.
Funerals are an unusual type of gig for several reasons, but they are also surprisingly challenging considering how little music is usually required. For one thing, there is minimal room for error. In a more informal setting, any mishaps can be glossed over or laughed off by a forgiving audience, or they may even go unnoticed if the music is more of a background entertainment. But in a funeral there is nowhere for the musician to hide, and any major blooters are liable to spoil the mood of reflection and reverence. There is also the fact that you will often only play 2 or 3 pieces, which means there is no real opportunity to redeem yourself should any of them not go fully according to plan. There is also no chance to properly warm up, as you can’t exactly honk out some scales and arpeggios in the middle of a eulogy – you just have to go in ‘cold’ and hope for the best. And furthermore, timings for crematorium services in particular are usually very tight. If you’re lucky you’ll have 15 minutes to get in and set up before the ceremony begins, but it’s not unheard of for me to have to start playing the second I’ve hurriedly slapped a reed on the instrument.
For this particular booking, I’m happy to say I avoided these key pitfalls. The one thing I did struggle with a little was the volume on some of the backing tracks, which varied considerably from when I had checked them at home on headphones. I have since resolved this issue (see the end of this post to learn how), but at the time it did necessitate some ad hoc volume adjustments mid-song!
Oliver! (the Third)
A more light-hearted time was had by all from 21st to 24th February, at Mid Cheshire Musical Theatre Company‘s performances of ‘Oliver!’ (the musical). I’m racking up productions of this ever-popular show, with this being my 3rd (and a 4th coming up very soon). It was also my 2nd time playing the flute/piccolo part for William David Brohn’s 2009 West End orchestration.
By the way, that 2009 London production starred none other than Jodie Prenger as Nancy. Jodie Prenger can also be seen here giving an impromptu performance on the spoons, accompanied by myself and the other members of The Jelly Roll Jazz Band:
Sorry Jodie, but you’re never going to live that one down!
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Congratulations to everyone involved in this show, which was a really high-quality bit of theatre (as I could see from my viewpoint in front of the stage). I’m pleased to say it was rewarded with near-full houses for every performance, and a glowing review in ‘North West End’ that even mentions us musicians:
“Boasting a sizeable band, led by Marilyn Blank, the musical score instantly swept us away into Oliver’s turbulent world and the contrasting themes of darkness and light, despair and hope. As one would expect from a MCMTC production, the band delivered a medley of some of Bart’s most famous musical theatre pieces note-perfectly and with such apparent ease, which was a joy to behold.”
For my part, it was good to have another go at what is quite a difficult Reed 1 book, especially for someone who is not a first-study flautist. It requires me to contort my fingers in combinations and at speeds that don’t feel entirely natural, with the most terrifying moment by far being these few bars of the overture:
If you mess those up, everyone in the theatre will hear it! Not to mention dogs for miles around. Incidentally, if you want to hear those bars in context, along with a few other notable excerpts from the show, have a little look at this video of me tackling the part back in 2022:
Tragedy at the Treacle Market
I’ll admit to being more than slightly bleary-eyed on Sunday 25th February, when I travelled down to Macclesfield to play TRAD. JAZZ at 11am in their regular ‘treacle market’. After all, I’d done 2 performances of ‘Oliver!’ the previous day, and spent the rest of the week moving house by day and playing the musical by night.
But needs must, and so I made my way down there to assist by playing some clarionet with local band ‘Annie’s Saints and Sinners‘. I soon discovered the power of TRAD. JAZZ as a restorative tonic as well, with the combination of fun music, an appreciative crowd and a little bit of sunshine conspiring to make for a jolly occasion indeed.
Jolly, that is, until tragedy struck!
At one point during the set, the trombonist offered to do a solo version of ‘April Showers’. This struck me as an ideal chance to wander round and get some photos for this very blog. I therefore plonked my clari on its stand, assuming it would be fine without any pesky members of the public close enough to damage it, and went for a stroll.
The next thing I knew, I was photographing this:
It would appear that members of the public are not the only pesky ones around.
To give him his due, the trumpeter apologised for knocking it over and informed me that he didn’t think it was damaged. But alas, wishing something does not make it so. The reed was chipped (£3). The left-hand F#/C# key had been knocked out of place – this was easily fixed by judicious application of force (not ideal, but also not a big deal on a robust instrument worth <£100). And then I discovered what had happened to the mouthpiece:
To give you some context, that was a really good mouthpiece – a Walter Grabner K13*. I bought it for £150 when I was 17 years old, and it’s the only soprano clarinet mouthpiece I have used in the intervening 13 years. I’ve played on it throughout the UK, all the way from Inverness right down to Guernsey. I’ve played on it in Florence, in Malta and even in Hull. I’ve played on it in a West End musical, in Westminster Abbey and at the Bath & West Show. It’s been my constant companion throughout countless thousands of hours of playing. So call me sentimental, but it does make me a little sad to see it reach such a premature and undignified demise!
Admittedly it’s not the end of the world, and fortunately it held together well enough to make it through to the end of the Macclesfield gig. But for now at least, I’m afraid to say it’s back to the trusty old Vandoren B45 spot.
All of which brings me to the end of the February 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.
Gig of the Month
I can’t say I’ve ever been the biggest fan of ‘Oliver!’ (or the book it’s based on, for that matter), but I did really enjoy being a part of it this month. Good show. Good show indeed.
What We’ve Learned
Even if there seems to be nobody around, never leave your clarinet unattended without at least putting the mouthpiece cap on first! Also, if you must connect a laptop’s stereo headphone output to a speaker’s mono microphone input via a TRS jack cable, make sure you set the laptop to playback in mono first.
It is with unbridled delight that I share with you today a brand new recording from the songwriting powerhouse commonly known as Ellie Bleach!
The piece is called ‘That’ll Show ‘Em’, and will be the penultimate track on her upcoming EP ‘Now Leaving West Feldwood’. I had the pleasure of recording some clarionet and some baritone saxomophone for this track last year so I may be a little biased, but I think it’s an ABSOLUTE BANGER and well worth a listen or several. Some very nice lyrics as well, with my particular favourite being the one about the Wikipedia page…
But anyway, enough talk – time to listen! I hope you do enjoy.
