The album in question is entitled ‘Banquet’, and is the debut release from my acquaintance, housemate and casual assistant Mister James Ure. It is a concept album featuring 10 delicious songs that are all about different types of food and drink (with a few comedic improvisations and other sundries thrown in to whet the appetite). The physical CD also features some beautiful artwork and a booklet full of lovely photographs to represent each song. As if that wasn’t enough, £5 from every CD sale goes to the charity FareShare, so in purchasing a copy you’ll be doing your bit for wider society as well as the artistic community. Here’s where you can get it:
 

https://jamesureandthefridgedoors.bandcamp.com/album/banquet

Regular followers of this blog will know that this project has been in the pipeline for a long time now and I’ve helped out with a number of aspects in its development. Therefore I thought it would be nice to take a moment to reminisce and share the various memories I have from helping bring it to life over the past 4 years.
 

Red Stripe, Red Stripe, Why Won’t You Be My Wife?

This was the very first song to be recorded for the album, and I recall listening to a rough version all the way back at the tail end of 2018. It was January 2019, however, when I made my contribution by travelling to the music studios at the University of Huddersfield to record some hot saxomophone improvisations for the instrumental section. A month or so later I got to hear the completed track. I was on tour at the time in Malta with the Welsh Musical Theatre Orchestra, and I remember sitting in my hotel room listening to the song 2 or 3 times, delighted with how well it had turned out (largely thanks to the producing talents of Mister Toby Renwick).
 

Always keen to push the boundaries of practicality, one of James’ key concepts for this album – apart from the subject matter – was to have each track ‘produced’ (i.e. recorded, mixed and mastered) by a different person. Unfortunately it’s not always easy to track down highly skilled producers in large numbers, and therefore he did at times have to scrape the barrel a little. Which is how I ended up as producer for ‘Sucked In Like Spaghetti’!

I was on my way to Manchester on the train in mid-2019 when I received a message from James asking if I’d like to produce one of his songs. I was up for giving it a go, but made sure to point out that I wasn’t very good so it would need to be something simple. Luckily the song in question was about as minimal as it comes: just a solo vocal with banjolele accompaniment (and a few backing vocals here and there).

We recorded it in my ‘home studio’ (bedroom) one afternoon, giving our long-suffering neighbours yet another thing to puzzle over. The session didn’t get off to the greatest of starts as my computer kept crashing whenever I tried to record – a problem I have never had before or since, except when recording ‘Lost Melon’ a couple of years later. Maybe the machine just doesn’t like James’ music.

Once I’d got the technology on side though, we had a great time putting the song together. I helped out with the backing vocals, and we came up with some nice quirky ideas to put in there. For example, I’m pleased with the way the song comes to a satisfying conclusion (complete with a round of applause), and then starts up again purely for the purpose of including a fade-out (which itself is just a method of ending a song). I also enjoyed leaving in some of the ad-libs, bits of talking and spontaneous laughter because I think it lends it a really joyful intimate vibe that helps convey the fun of the recording process.
 

Here’s a track which I wasn’t involved with musically, but I did play a significant role in producing the music video. I think the initial concept was that it would start with James’ face in the middle of the screen, and every time a different food was mentioned in the lyrics that particular item would be thrown at him, until he was completely obscured under a disgusting mess. But then James realised we could take it one step further: What if the video was played backwards? So that it started with him under a pile of food, which would gradually vanish over the course of the song to reveal him underneath?

It took a bit of thought to calculate the timings for this, in order that the video played backwards would synchronise with the music played forwards. Once that was worked out, I put together an audio track which would cue me at the exact time to apply each food, so that I could listen to that while filming the video to make sure the timings were correct.

We also realised James would benefit from some safety goggles to stop everything going in his eyes, and in a remarkable stroke of serendipity we actually found an ideal pair lying on the footpath outside the house one day! We had genuinely just been discussing the subject – James said to me, “Where do you think we could get some goggles?” and I looked down at the pavement, saw the ones lying there, and responded with, “Well how about those ones?” Such a coincidence it was almost creepy.

It was in November 2019 that we recorded the video. The process itself was horrific, resembling as it did some sort of obscure food-based form of waterboarding, but as with all these projects I think it paid off. I remember being quite nervous – after all, we only really had one attempt. If something went wrong halfway through filming then we’d have to stop, clear everything up, and put James through the whole unpleasant ordeal once again! To give me the best chance of doing everything correctly I lined up all the food items in order on a table, forming what is surely the weirdest-looking buffet ever seen:
 

 
As it happened, things did go wrong during recording. Most significantly, James’ goggles fell off early on so he had to hold his eyes very tightly shut to keep out the relentless onslaught of egg yolk, tomato sauce and custard that was coming his way. I also nearly suffocated him with a slice of cheese – if you look at the video carefully you can see him pulling it away from his nostril to give himself some chance of breathing! But we kept going, and thankfully managed to get the whole video done in one take. Then it was just a case of cleaning everything up – I seem to recall James was still finding sugar in his ears for days afterwards! The things we do for art, hey?

Here’s the finished video, for those not of a squeamish disposition:
 

Of all the bits of recording I’ve done for this album, this one was probably my favourite. It was December 27th 2019. I’d just enjoyed a pleasant Christmas, followed by the usual crazy Boxing Day activities round Scarborough seafront. And then to top it all off I had a lovely relaxing day recording with friends in a big wooden shed.

The shed in question is part of James’ family home in Scarborough and makes for a really cosy recording studio, complete with log burning stove and mini fridge full of refreshments. The friends in question were James (who recorded tuba and vocals for the track), Dan Wackett (who acted as producer and also recorded banjo), Isaac Wilsher (who recorded jazz muted French horn – an under-used idiom if you ask me) and Isaac’s girlfriend Felicia (who had been roped in after mentioning the previous day that she played a bit of drums).

My main duty for the day was to add jazzy clarinet to the track, however I also assisted by recording some ukulele to act as a ‘guide track’ for the other instruments (even though the uke itself wouldn’t be used in the final song). We recorded that and the drums simultaneously, and for that reason I had to move into a different room to avoid being picked up by the drum microphones. Unfortunately the shed only has one room, which is why I ended up standing outside on the patio, with the ukulele connected to the shed by long cables trailing out of the window, while Felicia played drums inside. It was quite the experience.
 

If you listen carefully to this song then you’ll hear some little bits of clarinet poking through – once again I went to Huddersfield with James to record these, back in January 2020. On the same afternoon we also recorded the legendary erhu playing of ‘Take It Away’ Niall Turner, as well as the colossal gong hit that ends the song (yes it was a real-life gong!).

There was still more to be done though, including producing the single’s cover artwork. I had the dubious honour of photographing James’ face in the garden after covering it with crispy seaweed (for some reason using raw egg as a glue). I don’t know what the neighbours thought, but I reckon the result was worth the effort:
 

 
The most significant memory I have of this song, though – and the one that I’m sure will stay with me the longest – was the production of the music video. Picture the scene: It was the middle of March 2020. Coronavirus was sweeping the globe, and the UK was days away from following other countries in imposing a full nationwide lockdown. Nearly all mine and James’ gigs had been cancelled for months ahead. We needed a project to keep us busy for what we thought would be 3 weeks stuck at home.

And that’s when the idea came to us for the ideal music video to accompany James’ new single. How about a full 3 minutes and 38 seconds of stop-motion, using nothing but crispy seaweed?

We had to act fast while we were still allowed out, and thus it was that we found ourselves, a day or two before the start of the lockdown, walking to the nearest Chinese takeaway to buy nothing but 3 boxes of crispy seaweed. I think the proprietors may have been a bit confused, but little did they know the masterpiece that would result.

Before long we had set up a makeshift studio in our revolting basement, blocking out all natural light so as to prevent it ruining the stop motion, and duct-taping a webcam directly above what would normally be a coffee table but had now become the canvas for our artwork. I was in charge of photography (which largely involved sitting there for long periods amusing myself by making paper flowers and occasionally pressing a button on my computer to capture an image), while James was tasked with the nitty gritty of shifting increasingly rancid crispy seaweed around the table and forming it into ever more absurd patterns.
 

 
All in all it took us around 2 weeks, working several hours a day, to get all the required images. Was it worth it? I’ll let you be the judge:
 

But wait, there’s more! My involvement with this song wasn’t completely finished, as in December 2020 (still bored with not being allowed out of the house) I put together my own special Christmas-themed cover version which should be the ideal thing to get you in the festive mood:
 

TV Dinner

I didn’t contribute anything to the album recording of this song, however I did help bring it to life in the first ever Fridge Doors live gig, back in the midst of the April 2020 lockdown. James and I did a live-streamed concert from the back garden of our shared house in Manchester, mainly as The Jelly Roll Jazz Band but featuring one song from guest performers James Ure and the Fridge Doors. We even did a costume change so that no-one would suspect we were actually the same people.
 

‘Peng’ is a big instrumental medley of all the main tunes from the album, and appears right near the very end to act as a sort of anti-overture. Originally it was meant to be recorded by a string quartet, however it ultimately proved extremely difficult to find string players who were both able and willing to record the parts remotely. Which is how it ended up as a clarinet quartet!

This is another one that I recorded in my ‘home studio’, back in October 2021, and features me playing 2 regular Bb clarinets along with 2 big bass clarinets. I also shout ‘SOUR CREAM!’ at the top of my voice at one point, so there’s something special to enjoy if you like that kind of thing.
 

I can’t claim to have had any major creative input into this track, however I did lend a hand as a recording engineer of sorts. Yet again my ‘bedroom’ (home studio) plays a starring role, as this is where James and I recorded the lead vocals to send off to the producer. Listen closely in the latter half of the song as well, and you may be able to hear my voice joining in with the list of melons.

I got a little day out from this track as well. One of the vocalists in the ‘melon list’ section lives in Lichfield, so back at the start of 2022 I packed up my laptop and microphone and headed off there with James to record her contribution to the song. This was another rare occasion when my computer refused to function without strong encouragement, which is why I think it must have some objection to James’ songs. But other than that the day was a good laugh (even though I was a little sick of Lichfield by that time, having spent 6 weeks playing in the pantomime there not long previously)!
 

Although every track on ‘Banquet’ is a masterpiece of weirdness in its own right, the album is lended an extra surreal edge by a series of short interludes and spoken-word sketches. In order to enhance the impression of the album as a multi-course meal served up in a fancy restaurant, James wanted to include some pieces of dialogue that would conjure up images of a customer being shown to a table before providing some commentary over the course of the evening’s food and entertainment.

Early in 2022 – the day after Valentine’s Day, in fact – we took advantage of the presence in Manchester of the inimitable Dan Wackett to record some scenes for this purpose. Dan played the part of the customer, and I rather relished taking on the role of the bizarre rude waiter. None of the dialogue was scripted, and instead we improvised around some general guidelines. It was a lot of fun, and produced some decidedly absurd results which are hopefully as funny to the listener as they were to us while we were recording!
 

If you take a good long look at the front cover of the album (or even a short one – I don’t care) you’ll no doubt enjoy the image of James dressed as a chef, holding up a pizza paddle in front of a brick wall. What you may not realise is that that image is derived from a photograph that I took just down the road from where the two of us live.

James and I had been discussing suitable backdrops for the cover image, and agreed that a uniform brick wall would look pretty classy. Unfortunately there was nothing really suitable on our street, but we soon realised that a few minutes walk away was the perfect thing – a huge blank wall, well-lit, with plenty of space in front for taking photographs.

The only downside is that it was by the side of a main road. So while we stood there getting photos, with James dressed in his full chef’s outfit and clutching a pizza paddle, we were passed by countless confused motorists, who were trying to fathom what on earth we were doing when they should have been concentrating on their driving! It’s a wonder we didn’t cause a crash.
 

It’s been a long old journey bringing this album to life, and I’ve really relished* being a part of the process over the past 4 years. It’s been a consistent presence in my life, giving me lots of weird experiences and entirely unique memories, and it’s great to see it finally unleashed on the world. All I can say now is that I hope the world enjoys listening to it as much as I’ve enjoyed contributing to it!

* No pun intended.